Nature & Nurture
The question of nature and nurture has continued to vex me for many years. How much are we products of nature; and how much are we products of nurture? Is it both equal? Or more of one than the other? And if more, how much more?
Thirty years ago, my friend Vijay confided to me that he was always on a tight budget every month. This, inspite of being the Marketing Manager of a large consumer product company in Mumbai. Why? Because he wanted to send his two boys to the most exclusive (and expensive) school in the city. I was naïve to ask him why he did that. He said that his boys will grow up knowing the children of important people in the city and therefore they will benefit in life, because of the ‘old school tie network! This was a benefit Vijay never had in life. He had gone to a ‘regular’ school in Delhi; and was brought up in a ‘middle class millieu’ with middle class values – and middle class friends. He wanted his sons to break out of this cycle.
And what has happened to his two sons? They graduated from school – with average marks. Both went abroad, as most students from this school do – because their parents can afford it. They did average courses there and got average marks again. One decided to stay on in USA. The other came back to India and started a small service business.
Nothing exciting happened as a result of the parents having to stint to buy them the school tie. Today neither of the boys are in touch with any of their old school friends. So much, for the old school tie network!
Another friend who rose to be a Member of the Railway Board sent his son to a hill station, exclusive boarding school in North East India. The family was frequently being transferred from one place to another and the education of the two children was being regularly interrupted. Hence the decision.
Young Rohit liked the school, and liked the system of teaching – which was different from what he was used to, in Calcutta. But nearly all the students in the school had very rich parents. They were given large allowances (pocket money it was called those days). Rohit’s father was in a Government job – and also not corrupt! Rohit’s allowance was comparatively small. He developed a sense of inferiority. He has carried this scar for most of his life. Even though now,, he is a well known Cardiac Surgeon in the US – and wealthy by US standards.
And then there is the news report of this girl in Mumbai who was perhaps high on drugs and/or alcohol – and crashed her SUV (driving late at night) in the process a few people were killed. She belonged to a rich family in South Mumbai. She went to a fancy school. She also went to USA and did some courses, and returned to work in India. What went wrong? Nature or Nurture? More of one or the other? If more, then, which one? I am still confused!
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